4 Red Flags in Men to Avoid When It Comes to Marriage

“Ladies, don’t marry a man simply because he loves you. Before you say YES, watch his character. Some red flags become very expensive after the wedding.”

1. The Angry Man

Proverbs 22:24–25¹ “Make no friendship with an angry man…”

A man who is constantly explosive, aggressive, insulting, or unable to control his temper is a serious warning sign.

Avoid him at all cost because uncontrolled anger eventually affects the atmosphere of the home and can become abusive. Infact, the Bible warns that even if you keep him as a friend, you will learn of his ways and get destroyed.

I would always admonish you not to marry potential. Decide to marry demonstrated character; a wedding won’t change him.

2. The Lazy Man

Proverbs 24:30–34² warns about the man who refuses to work while his life becomes overtaken by poverty and disorder.

Marrying a lazy man is dangerous because marriage requires responsibility. A man who consistently avoids work, responsibility, and personal development may eventually make his wife carry burdens he should be helping to carry.

Don’t however confuse being unemployed with being lazy. Watch his attitude toward responsibility. If it is his responsibility to carry the trash out, how does he approach it. How does he take the responsibility of keeping is house clean? If he does something in church, how does he approach it?

3. The Foolish Man

Proverbs 12:15; 14:16³ “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes…”

The number one sign that you are dealing with a fool, is when he refuses correction. A foolish man refuses correction; he always thinks he is right, and repeatedly makes destructive decisions.

Don’t say yes to this man because you cannot build a stable marriage with someone who refuses wisdom, counsel or correction. A man who cannot receive correction will eventually create problems he cannot solve.

4. The Unfaithful or Immoral Man

Proverbs 5:18–20; 6:32⁴ teaches without mincing words that a man who continually pursues sexual immorality and cannot exercise self-control is a dangerous marriage prospect. This is simply because marriage requires covenantal faithfulness. If he repeatedly demonstrates that he cannot control his desires before marriage, don’t assume the wedding ceremony will magically change him.

Marriage doesn’t cure character problems. Character must be confronted before marriage.

FINALLY REMEMBER THIS:

Don’t just ask, ‘Does he love me?’ Ask, ‘What kind of man is he?’

• Is he self-controlled?
• Is he responsible?
• Is he teachable?
• Is he faithful?

Love can attract you to someone, but character determines whether you can safely build a life with them.

1. Proverbs 22:24-25 (KJV): Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. ↩︎
2. Proverbs 24:30-34 (KJV): I went by the field of the slothful, and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction. Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man. ↩︎
3. Proverbs 12:15 (KJV): The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise. Proverbs 14:16 (KJV): A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident. ↩︎
4. Proverbs 5:18-20 (KJV): Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? Proverbs 6:32 (KJV): But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. ↩︎